Life Goes On
by GAforevermerder
Summary: Katniss finds she is pregnant she finds herself leaning on Peeta to get through this. A story of how Peeta and Katniss' children come along.
1. Because I Love You

The world felt unstable, it hurt to take a breath. I sat in the bathroom looking at the test that was bought earlier at the corner store. But the words read loud and clear: PREGNANT. The tears came first; they were silent as I stared at it. How in the world could I do this? Be a mother?

Peeta wanted children; he talked about it all the time. It was one night, one night without being careful. I picked up a glass that held the soap and threw it at the wall, watching it shatter into a million pieces.

"Katniss?" asked Peeta's voice panicked, his loud footsteps approaching.

I curled into the corner and buried my head in my knees. Peeta knocked on the door. "Katniss, sweetheart?" he asked, over the years that name just stuck. _Sweetheart_.

"Just go," I replied quickly.

"Katniss open the door, please," he pleaded. I did not respond, choosing to let my mind race. "I will break down the door, please Katniss," he said his voice panicky.

I slowly got up, for Peeta's sake and opened the door. I was wearing a ratty old shirt and my hunting shorts my hair messy along my face. In my hand was the test, tears running down my face. It took him seconds to realize. He smiled then realized it was what had upset me. "Oh, Katniss," Peeta said as he took me into his strong arms.

"I can't do this, I can't Peeta, I know…that…this…is what you want but," I said, trying to control my sobs.

"You can do this, you would be-," Peeta said but I cut him off all too soon.

"I can't," I said, already convinced. I felt sorry for this life, this person that might have me as a mother.

"Katniss, don't say that," Peeta said, I was soaking his shirt with my tears.

"Peeta, I never wanted this," I continued. It only took a second for me to see the hurt register on his face. _He_ wanted this. _He_ has wanted this for forever. Should I let him have this, after everything he gave me? After all this love and comfort after all these years of never giving up on me?

"Katniss, what are you saying?" Peeta asked, his face turning red.

"I don't know. I just don't know," I replied, as I fought my way from the bathroom to the bedroom. I sat on the bed holding my head. I owed him. I owed my husband for everything. I always will. Could this be a way to get rid of the debt? I am not completely heartless; of course I would love my child. It's just the world is always so messed up.

Peeta took a seat next to me; put a hand on my back. "Please, Katniss think about this. Please," Peeta said, almost desperately.

When I looked up it broke my heart to see tears in his eyes. I wiped them away with my thumbs and put my head on his strong chest. He leaned me down on the bed and kissed my head. He held me there, I felt safe and protected. "Because I love you," was all I said before drifting to sleep.

When I woke up Peeta was still there, still holding me. His eyes were closed too, he was smiling. Did I really just agree to this? Suddenly, the all too familiar wave of nausea flooded through me. I got untangled from Peeta's arms and ran into the bathroom. Emptying my stomach of the cheese buns I had this morning. Peeta was there in seconds, holding my hair. When I was done, I washed my face then turned to Peeta and cried, again. "I'm scared," I admitted.

"I know, I am here," Peeta assured me. My breath must have smelled like throw up but he kissed me anyways. He kissed away my tears and hugged me to him. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too," I replied. Because that was the one thing I was completely sure of. Peeta was the one I loved all along. Peeta is going to make a great father, just like I thought all those years ago.

**Please review to let me know if I should continue. I hope you liked it, thanks for reading!**

** -Megan**


	2. Finding Support

The sun was bright through the windows, I let out a yawn and I rolled over to face Peeta. His face was gentle and I traced the lines of his face, knowing them so well. Better than my own. He opened his blue eyes and smiled. "Morning," he said groggily.

"Morning," I replied then kissed him. He smiled then put a hand over my tummy. It still felt weird. There was a slight bump in my small frame, Peeta was ecstatic, and of course I was terrified.

"You have a bump there," he said happily.

When I did not reply, he expected it. I did not know what to say, I am terrified. I am scared. A baby would be here in less than seven months. "Are you hungry?" he asked. I have been hungry all the time lately.

I let out a small laugh. "Yeah, I am," I told him.

"Say no more," Peeta said as he got out of bed. He was shirtless, I admired his sculptured back. "Cheesy buns?" he asked.

"You know me so well," I replied with a smile.

After he left the room I trudged into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. For almost thirty, I still looked almost the same. My hair grew back, and it was long so I could still braid it. My skin was dark from hunting, I still had scars and you could tell where new skin was planted on my body. But these were things that I have had for a long time. Everything except the small bump coming from my midsection. It was almost unnoticeable, but it was there. Proof that there was a life inside me.

I walked out of the bathroom, not wanting to really think about it anymore. I make my way into the kitchen, Peeta had the food already out and I probably started to drool because Peeta laughed at me. I bit into a cheesy bun and closed my eyes, savoring the taste. "We should take a few over to Haymitch," I suggested.

"You know we should tell him, about the baby," Peeta replied.

I sighed, Peeta was right. He was always right. "Yeah, I figured we would just let him figure it out himself," I replied.

Peeta rolled his eyes. "Great idea, so he can be mad at us for keeping things from him," Peeta said with a light laugh.

"Not like he has never done that to us," I grumbled then stuffed the rest of the cheesy bun into my mouth and taking another.

"I know," Peeta sighed. "But we don't have to stoop to his level."

"Okay, we will tell him," I replied with a shrug.

Ten minutes later, I packed some cheesy buns on a plate, took Peeta's hand, and together we walked the short distance to Haymitch's. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer so I just continued to walk inside. "Hello sweetheart, oh and if it isn't prince charming," Haymitch said from his spot on the couch, clutching a bottle of some type of alcohol.

"They sent in another case, Haymitch you need to take an easy," Peeta told him.

"I am, I am. Just a rough night is all," Haymitch said as he threw his hands up in surrender, putting the bottle on the table.

"We brought you food," I said as I plopped down on the couch next to him.

"Thanks," he grumbled.

"Haymitch we have something to tell you," Peeta suddenly said as he took a seat next to me.

Haymitch shrugged then took a bite of a cheesy bun. "Spit it out," he said.

"Well, Katniss and I are expecting a child," Peeta said in his warm voice, his face was smiling at the words he was saying.

"What? Like a baby?" Haymitch asked, his words slurring.

"Yes, a baby," I told him calmly, as calmly as those words could come out of my mouth.

"We just wanted to let you know," Peeta added.

"Let me know, yeah…well," Haymitch said well eyeing my stomach awkwardly. "I did not think you would cave," Haymitch said to me.

Of course he knew Peeta wanted a child, it was obvious. Every time a child came into the bakery it was obvious on Peeta's face. I blushed and looked at my feet. "Haymitch, it happened. Can't you just be supportive?" I asked, almost pleading him. I know I had Peeta but Haymitch was the second closest thing I had to family.

"Yeah, yeah," Haymitch said as he hid a grin.

I hugged him, even though he hated hugs. And to be honest, they were not my thing either. But in the past ten years, Peeta and I have grown closer to Haymitch.

"Don't I feel old, you two having a baby. For real this time," Haymitch added lightly.

That night I watched as Peeta carefully frosted a cake with pink flowers. It was for a little girl's birthday, the butcher's daughter. It was beautiful. So intricate. I just watched as his hands work, it was one of my favorite things. "Don't forget your signature flower," I said happily.

"Never," he replied and carefully he frosted a pink primrose. His signature flower that was on every cake he ever made.

**Hope you liked! I love writing this, so please review. **

** -Megan **


	3. Maybe Just Maybe

Even though Peeta really did not want me to, I went hunting anyways. Peeta thought that four months pregnant is the point where I should sit in the house all day and do nothing. I insisted though, I needed to do something. I missed the woods, the smell, the wind, and the noises. It was calming to me.

After I caught three rabbits I was beginning to think that Peeta was right. My baby bump was a little in the way. I was four months along, and according to my mother who made her once a year visit weeks ago said I was perfectly healthy. This seemed hard to believe because I felt horrible, constantly tired and vomiting.

I tugged at my shirt, trying to pull it down over my midsection. "Ugh," I let out as I gave up and made my way back to the bakery to find Peeta.

District 12 was a lot different these days, no peacekeepers, no hob, and virtually no Seam. It was alive. People traded how they would like, most people had jobs, not all the men were forced into mining, life was better. The new government gave the people more freedoms; I just wish certain people were here to see it.

I would have loved to see the smile on Prim's face as she opened her own practice. Or Finnick with Annie raising their family, and living happily. Or friendly Boggs. Or Rue, who would have been grown by now. I think about these things every day, and wonder how come I am here? Not them? They deserve to be happy too.

It was these thoughts that occupied my mind until I got to the bakery. I went through the back to find Peeta in the kitchen making bred, kneading it. I dropped my game on the floor and immediately took a seat, slipping off my shoes.

He looked at me and smiled, his face had flour on it. He looked so innocent, so Peeta. "How was hunting?" he asked, you could tell he was still upset about me going.

I shrugged. "It's getting harder, but that does not mean I am handicapped Peeta," I told him.

"I know, it's just you need to be careful," Peeta said replied.

"I am being careful," I reminded him. "Stop worrying. I've been going to the woods since…" I cut myself off. I have been going to the woods before entering any arena, before starting a rebellion, when I was just a girl keeping her family alive. The woods were the only place that remained the same. It was my safe place, my sanctuary.

"Let's go home," Peeta said as he dusted off his hands and took my face in his hands, kissing my forehead gently.

"Good, the baby and I are hungry," I said, without really thinking about it. But then I realized that was the first time I really spoke of the pregnancy out loud.

The excitement registered on Peeta's face and he hugged me, we stood there for a while, just comfortable in each other's arms.

As we were walking, we noticed reporters had come into town. Effie probably dropped something about my pregnancy accidently one night, word eventually would have spread. Reporters just became a part of our life. Not constantly, just when something interesting happened. People still remember the tributes from District 12. The star crossed lovers living happily ever after. Or so it seemed.

Peeta noticed them too; he immediately just pulled me closer in hopes of blocking me of view.  
>"What's the use? They won't leave until they get a good shot," I whispered to Peeta.<p>

Peeta knew it was true and nodded; he then just grabbed my hand. "Can't hide it now," I said as I rubbed my small but noticeable belly. Trying my best for the cameras, so they could get what they want and go away.

When we arrived home I was grateful. We ate dinner but ended up talking about which room we were going to use for the nursery, and I was thinking that maybe, just maybe I could do this. Maybe I could be a mother. Maybe the world is not so bad anymore. The only thing I was sure of is that Peeta was going to be an extraordinary father.

"Wait till you see what I do with the nursery," Peeta said with an excited glint in his eyes as he laid his hands on my stomach. In that moment, I swear I have never seen him happier. So of course, I could not help the smile that came across my face.

**Thank you for reading. Your reviews are what keeps me writing. **

** -Megan **


	4. Ugly Past, Bright Futures

**Okay, so this one is Peeta's point of view. **

"Dinners is done," I called out to my wife, who was lazily sitting on the couch like a pregnant woman should.

Katniss immediately came, looking at dinner hungrily. Even though she just ate no more than two hours ago. I watched with a smile as Katniss ate three bowls of soup while I just picked at mine. "What?" asked Katniss as she caught my eye.

"Nothing," I said to her. "You are just funny."

"Because I am hungry?" Katniss asked me, rolling her eyes. "May I remind you that it's your fault I am pregnant," she added jokingly.

"No, you and the baby need to eat as much as you would like," I replied gently. Katniss just shrugged the way she always did when she no longer wanted to talk, and she continued to eat.

I was washing the dishes while Katniss sat on the counter talking to me. "Effie keeps telling me about how she has to come, she bought all these baby clothes apparently," Katniss rambled in a way that made me smile.

It was in that moment that I dropped the plate, it shattered, Katniss gasped. I was losing myself, losing control. I stepped away from my wife and clenched my fists. Watching the horrible memories flood by. I knew most of them were tampered, but they were still there. Every time they hit me like a wave, wanting to pull me under. Treating me. _The arenas. The arrows coming flying at me. Katniss screaming. Sitting in a dark cellar. Snows face, telling me he was the one to trust. My dazed look. Katniss' lies._

"Peeta, come back to me, Peeta," said Katniss' voice, it was distant but there.

_Focus. Focus. _Slowly, I pulled myself out. I pulled myself out of the waves of darkness, and my eyes flew open. I was clutching the counter; Katniss was looking at me holding my face in her hands. "It's okay," she said to me as moved hair from my eyes. This was the real Katniss. The one I always loved.

I took her into a hug and to my surprise, she started to cry. I led her to the couch, letting her soak my shirt. "What's wrong?" I asked. She knew this still happened, every once in a while, I still lost touch of reality.

"We are just…just so damaged Peeta and now we are having a baby," Katniss said quietly over the sound of her sobs.

I smoothed her hair back, and placed my other hand on her tummy. "We are damaged, but we are a whole lot more than that too. We are strong, we love each other, and we understand each other. You are brave and you are compassionate. Just because we have an ugly past does not mean we will have ugly futures," I said, trying to make my stubborn wife understand. "I mean, these past ten years, have they been bad?" I asked her.

"No," Katniss replied. Her tears stopped and I kissed the top of her head.

"Exactly, we will be okay. We are okay, and our baby will be okay," I told her.

"You believe that?" she asked me.

"Yes, I do. Katniss, things will be okay," I promised her.

"What would I do without you? My dandelion in the spring?" Katniss asked as her lips met mine. I laughed at my nickname she once mentioned in her wedding vows. I am her dandelion in the spring, and she was my reason to live for all those years, and still is. Except the only difference is now, she is mine, and I am hers, anything else is unimaginable.

Katniss shook me awake; we must have fallen asleep on the couch. "Peeta, feel this," she said, her voice nervous, unsteady. She pulled at one of my hands and placed it on her stomach; I immediately felt it, a huge kick.

I sat up, my sleepiness long forgotten, and I looked at her amazed. "Amazing," was all I managed to get out.

"It feels so weird," Katniss said as the baby again kicked.

Immediately, I had motivation. I jumped up and kissed Katniss' abdomen. "Thank you baby," I whispered to it. Katniss looked at me like I was crazy then laughed.

"What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously.

"Painting," I answered, as I took the stairs two at a time into the nursery with bleak white walls, they were soon to be covered. I picked up a paint brush, and begun.

**Okay, so I hope you liked it! Please review. **

** -Megan **


	5. Hold Me Together

**Well this is Katniss' view; I will do more of Peeta's point of view too though. **

Six months. It feels like I have been pregnant for years. Basically, I just eat and sleep a lot. I went to the woods this morning, came back, and took a nap. Haymitch never stops laughing at me and my waddle I have developed.

But today is not the day to be worried about myself, because Annie and Finn were coming into town. They visit a few times a year, and I could not imagine things without them. Finn was ten now, and it was remarkable how much he resembled Finnick. I could still see Finnicks eyes, and his smile through his son. It was reassuring, but scary at the same time.

_What if my child looks like my sister?_

I could not help that thought as it sprung to mind. I felt the baby kick and I patted my stomach. I have grown closer to the human being inside there. Inside me. Something that was a little of Peeta and a little of me. I was accepting it. Still, there were the nightmares and the doubts. Peeta helps me, as much as he can.

Peeta was in the nursery, where he went a lot of the time now. He refused to show me what he was doing, claiming it was a surprise, and made me promise not to peek. I kept my promise, but of course I was curious. He was probably painting a masterpiece, but the question is what?

"Katniss? You ready sweetheart?" asked Peeta as he walked towards me with paint on his pants and a large smile worn across his kind face.

"Of course," I said as he helped me up from the chair in the living room, I was anxious to see Annie and Finn.

"Maybe you should stay here, I am just going to the…" Peeta started.

"No, I am going. It's just the train station Peeta," I said, cutting him off.

Peeta just shrugged and cupped my face, kissing me lightly. "You just look tired," he said softly.

"I am fine," I told him, grabbing his hand and heading for the door. Peeta's eyes followed me, in the way they did in the arena, like I was too good to be true. Well, he has it backwards because he is too good to be true.

The train station was packed; people looked at us as we stood there disoriented. Peeta held my hand tight the entire time. Eventually, the train rolled in, and people started to get off. That's when I saw him, in that second I swore it was Finnick, but it was Finn, running towards me his arms out wide, his sea green eyes full and excited. Finn collided into Peeta's arms; the two had grown close over the years. Peeta was almost a father figure to Finn.

"Hey buddy," Peeta said to Finn as he hugged him. "Getting taller?"

I saw Annie coming towards us with a suitcase, her face had a smile on it, she looked tired but at the same time beautiful. "Katniss, look at you!" Annie said as she took me into a hug. "And Peeta, it's good to see you two, or now three I suppose."

"It's good to see you guys as well, how have you been?" I asked Annie.

"It's been okay, you know things are a lot quieter now," Annie said, he voice uneven. You can almost tell she would rather live in a world that was horrible, but with Finnick than one that was okay without him. It broke her, she would never be okay.

"Well, as you know we are expecting a little one in three months, so things are going to be getting a lot louder in our house," Peeta said, he always knew how to add in a laugh or a smile somewhere, always knew the right thing to say.

Annie laughed. "Oh believe me, things will be getting a lot louder in your house," she said in her dreamy like way of talking.

I just tried to make a convincing laugh; I took Finns hand and smiled at him. "So, how have you been? Learning anything in school these days?" I asked him.

Finn looked at the ground, as we all started to walk out of the train station. "Mommy taught me about my daddy," Finn said as he looked back to his mother who nodded briefly.

"Really?" I replied, as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

"She said he was unselfish and a hero and I look just like him," Finn said to me.

"It's true you know, your daddy was all of those things and more," I replied to him truthfully. He smiled at me, and I smiled back. "Common, let's get back to the house."

Haymitch was there too, he never missed a chance to see Finn and Annie. Finn liked Haymitch too, they could joke around for hours.

"So, Katniss you excited for the baby?" asked Annie as she sipped her tea. Peeta, Haymitch, and Finn were in the living room joking around, acting like three year olds.

I looked at her and bit my lip. "Honestly? I am just plain scared. Some days I feel as if I could make a good mother and others I feel like a wreck," I told her.

"I felt the same way," she replied, as she kept her eyes on her tea.

"You did?" I asked.

"With Finnick gone, sometimes I thought okay maybe I can raise a child and others I felt like it was all a mistake, but then when I held Finn for the first time, it felt like it was all worth it. That somehow, someway I would make it work," Annie said, her voice was clear her eyes were watery with the memory.

"I am sorry," I replied, at a loss for words.

"It's not anyone's fault. Finn was the best thing that's happened to me, and we turned out okay. Katniss, you will be a great mother. Your child will be lucky to have you," Annie said, her eyes looking into mine. I wanted to believe her so bad, but I still found it hard.

"I hope so," I replied to her kindly. I turned to Peeta who was laughing while running after Finn when Peeta caught Finn he gave him a hug. We'll be okay; I have got Peeta, Haymitch, Annie, Finn, Effie, my mother, and my memories to hold me together.

**Review! Thanks **

** -Megan **


	6. When I Wrote You Again

** Okay so, for Katniss' fathers name would you think he was more of a: Christopher, James, Noah, Alexander, or a William. I am leaning towards the last three. **

** And for this new addition, which is obviously a girl. I was thinking Primrose, Rue, Grace, Lilah, Primrue, Delilah (like dandelion the whole 'dandelion in the spring' thing between Peeta/Katniss) or Lily. Obviously I need help, so let me have some of your input. **

"Katniss, I can put together a bed," Peeta said as he stared at the pieces on the floor. The crib had been sent to them this morning, and Peeta insisted on putting it together himself.

"Peeta, you look lost. I could ask Haymitch," I said to him. Peeta had been working for hours and it looked nothing like a crib.

"Like Haymitch would know how to put a baby's crib together," Peeta replied with a huff.

"Well, I will waddle on over and ask," I told him. He laughed at me then got up and kissed me, and felt my stomach.

"Baby, daddy is going to put together your crib, even if it kills him," Peeta said with a smirk on his face then he felt the baby kick.

"Peeta, I am asking Haymitch," I told him, sticking to being stubborn.

"Baby, do you think that daddy needs Haymitch's help?" Peeta asked the baby and again there was another kick.

"See, I am asking Haymitch," I told him with a smile. "Baby says so…"

Haymitch seemed sober, today was one of his good days. He looked at me and laughed. "You are getting big sweetheart," Haymitch said lazily.

"Being seven months pregnant and all will do that," I told him smartly.

Haymitch chuckled. "I guess so," he said, actually giving me a genuine smile.

I sat next to him, his were not bloodshot, you could see the softness of his grey eyes, different from mine, and his had more white in them. They were beautiful when he was not experiencing a hangover, I would like to think this is the real Haymitch, but I have seen him drunk too many times.

"Peeta needs help building a crib," I said, sighing.

Haymitch again laughed. "And he needs my crib building expertise?"

"He does not think so, but I think he does," I replied.

"Okay, did he let you see that room yet?" Haymitch asked, talking about the nursery.

"No, not till the baby gets here. It's a surprise," I told him, rolling my eyes.

"Well it's amazing," Haymitch replied smartly.

Jealousy flooded inside me, Haymitch saw it and not me? "He showed you?" I asked, frustrated.

"Well, I don't know if it was that he showed me or I found it. You were gone hunting one day, and he was all locked up in that room, I was looking for him, so I just walked in. Sorry sweetheart, he swore me to secrecy," Haymitch said, his hands raised.

All these years, Haymitch kept secrets from me now. I think he felt that he owed Peeta back, because during the games Peeta was always out of the loop, so now it was my turn. I understood it when the proposal came along, and all the gifts, but now I really just wanted to know. "Well, are you going to help Peeta or not?" I asked him, biting my lip.

"I'll help him, I am your mentor after all?" Haymitch said. He still used that term to refer to our relationship, but after all these years; he has become a mixture of that embarrassing uncle and a father figure.

"Sure," I told him.

Within ten minutes Haymitch already had half of the crib assembled, Peeta helped too handing Haymitch parts. I lay on the couch exhausted already from today's events. The baby kicked and I rubbed my hand over my stomach.

Sometimes I just wonder what life is going to be like a year from now. Ten years from now? I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl. Or if it will look like me or Peeta. I think about want Prim would say if she were here. I think about hunting. I think about the memories with the boy I called my best friend. I wonder about Gale and his face if he knew I was pregnant. I think about Gale, the same person I haven't seen in years. I miss hunting with him, but actually seeing him would hurt too much.

That's when I pick myself up and walk into the kitchen, Peeta did not even see me leave, he was too immersed in crib building. I grab a sheet of paper, and a pencil. I address the letter to a Mr. Gale Hawthorn. For the first time in nearly eleven years, I had something to say to the Boy with the Snares.

_ Dear Gale, _

_ I was thinking about you today. Well I think about you a lot. Mostly when I am hunting, I think about how you did those snares. Trying to mimic them as best I could. I'm getting there, but I am still better with my bow. Some things don't change. _

_ After the war, Peeta stayed with me. He made me happy again. It took a while, but I am as whole as a broken person could get when I am with him. Peeta is baking again. He still is The Boy With The Bread. And I am still me. We are moving on, I am doing something I never said I would, but Peeta convinced me that the world is no longer corrupt anymore. We are expecting a child in two months. I am terrified. Peeta is thrilled. But at the same time were both excited. I just thought you had the right to know, as my friend. I am happy. I happy that children won't have to go through what we did. I am happy I can grow old with someone. _

_Why I really wrote this letter was to tell you that, I hope you are happy. I hope that you found someone that makes you smile and someone you can grow old with. I hope that you are still hunting. I hope your snares are better than ever. _

_ As your friend, I want what's best for you. I know this letter is unexpected, but I just wanted to let you know that I still think about you. I don't expect you to return this letter, I understand if you don't. Eleven years is a long time. I will never forget my best friend. As always, may the odds forever be in your favor. _

_ Catnip _

I stick it in my pocket, deciding to mail it tonight. I wipe the tears in my eyes. That needed to be written. Something had to be said. I walk into the living room to find the crib put together, it is beautiful.

Peeta smiled at me in success. I go and hug him; Haymitch is already preoccupied with the TV, watching sports, which they started broadcasting two years ago. It was more civilized then the Hunger Games; they used to play them in the old America.

Peeta's arms hold him close to me, and I start to cry. He strokes my hair, looking confused. "What's wrong?" he asked me seriously.

My tears flowed harder, stupid hormones. "I wrote Gale," I told him.

Surprise registered briefly on his face, and then he smiled. He wiped my tears with his thumbs, like he always did. "I knew you always would one day," he said calmingly.

"How?" I asked.

He sighed. "I talk to him once a year. He calls the bakery ever year on the anniversary of the war. I only talk to him to make sure he is happy, because I knew that's what you would want. I just always knew you would talk to him again, you don't let people go that easy sweetheart," Peeta said.

I should have been mad that Peeta was keeping this from me. But honestly, I am glad he did. I am glad he checked in on him. It just showed how unbelievably unselfish Peeta was. He talked to Gale for me. He made sure he walk okay for me. "I love you," I told him before kissing him.

Haymitch cleared his throat, but that did not interrupt the kiss. This is just another example of how Peeta is and will always be my dandelion in the spring. Looking out for me. Loving me. And showing me hope.

**Sorry it took me so long! I wrote this because I could never see Katniss just banishing Gale, I think she would let him back into her life after years of putting herself back together. I hope you guys liked, and please review. **


	7. New Days

I wake up to find Peeta playing with my long hair; he is smiling as his hands tenderly comb my hair. "Morning," I tell him, smiling as he kisses my forehead gently. The baby kicked, and I put a hand on my ginormous stomach. "Morning baby," Peeta whispers, as he leaned down to plant a kiss on my tummy. The baby kicks again.

"Up and kicking again," I commented as I slumped back into the pillows, trying to get comfortable again, which seemed impossible these days.

"One more month," Peeta said his eyes bright.

"One more month," I repeated, trying to ease myself.

"How about we go to the meadow today?" Peeta asked me.

I loved the meadow; we always go there on this day every year. This terrible but wonderful day. The purple Lilac trees bloomed just a year after the war in a place that was bombed, it was sort of a miracle. There were tons of them, just grew out of nowhere, they were beautiful. Peeta found them one day while he was looking for me when I was hunting. That's where our first kiss was, well the first kiss after everything, it meant something. That's when I knew, I knew that Peeta was mine. I thought back to our wedding, small, quiet, but Effie made the field even more beautiful. "I'd love to," I told him.

Peeta ended up carrying me halfway because my feet hurt so badly. I was a small, not too tall and skinny, having something the size of a watermelon at my mid-section was completely uncomfortable.

We sat on a blanket, and Peeta packed cheesy buns. I truly did love it here; it was a place for just Peeta and I. It was true. It was ours. It was romantic.

"So, have you thought about names sweetheart?" Peeta asked suddenly.

I was a little lost for words. I forgot about the whole naming thing. My mind began swimming. "No, we don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet," I replied.

"I know, but we should have ideas," Peeta said softly, as he rubbed my arm gently.

"What were you thinking?" I asked him, wondering.

"I think his or her name should mean something, if it were a boy I was thinking maybe your father's name, William," Peeta said, smiling a bit.

Happiness flooded me, Peeta really was amazing, I cuddled into him and he put his hand on my mountains stomach. "What about your father?" I asked.

"Or my father, William Noah or Noah William. Or Will Cinna Noah or Cinna Finnick. Those are just a few ideas I have floating through my mind.

Tears are brought to my eyes at how much thought Peeta has put into this. My hormones have me crying all the time; it makes me feel so weak. "What if it's a girl?" I manage.

"I was thinking, Prim, or Rue or Primrue. Another one was Lillah, because of because of this place, it means something to us. The lilac flowers are beautiful," Peeta told me as he looked into space, smiling.

My mind considered these options. Lilah. Primrose. Rue. "My sister and I were named for plants my father admired, those Lilac trees they are special to us," I said. To me, those Lilac trees meant that love will come again, like the Dandelion in the spring, they meant rebirth instead of destruction. That we were going to make it.

"I like it," I told him truthfully. "I love it. Lilah Primrue Mellark," I said tasting how the words flowed out.

Peeta nodded in encouragement then kissed my belly. It's unbelievable how the months just flew by, that we were already choosing a name.

"You know we don't have to decide today, just ideas," Peeta reassured me.

I nodded and leaned my head on his stable chest.

"Now are the times were we are happy," Peeta whispered, trying to get me to smile.

"It's just so hard sometimes though Peeta," I told him, my eyes watering. "Hormones," I added as I wiped my eyes.

Peeta put my face in his hands tenderly. "I know, I know it is hard," he told me.

Right then and there, I just cried in the arms of my husband. "You remember what today is?" I choked out.

"Yes," he replied, as he began rocking me back and forth.

Today was the anniversary of the war, the anniversary of the day my sister died. And Finnick. They hold a ceremony near the old capitol, but we don't go. Our days of standing in front of crowds and playing peoples games are over. Days filled with the sound of newborn cries and bottles are coming. But still, you never forget what got you there in the first place. You never forget the horrible things that happen to you. Ever. In hopes that someday, you can put it behind you. Like we used to say, may the odds ever be in your favor. I know I haven't, I know Peeta hasn't but that does not mean we don't have rights to a happy ending somehow, and maybe this child will help us to our happy ending.

Peeta starts to cry too and I rub circles on his chest. I would be nowhere near happy without him. Peeta brought light back into my life. "Thank you, for being you," I tell him.

"Always," he replies unsteadily, and then kisses my forehead.

**Baby Mellark is coming soooonn! Also, sorry about lack on updating, school has started up again and things are hectic. Tell me what you think so review! Thank you for reading guys. **

** -Megan **


	8. Lilah Primrue Mellark

As soon as I woke up, I just knew, I knew that after nine months and six days that this baby is coming. "Peeta," I said nudging him slightly.

"Hmm," he asked, not even lifting his head.

A sharp pain went through me. "Peeta, the baby," I told him.

This got his attention, and he quickly sat up. "Are you…is the baby coming?" he asked frantically. His hands found my belly, feeling it, the baby kicked hard.

"Yeah, the baby is coming," I said calmly. "Call my mother," I ordered him immediately. My mother had been in town for the past two weeks, staying at an inn in town, she said she wanted to be there for me. I appreciated her being here, but I could tell she missed her work.

Peeta got up frantically, his eyes searching as he reached for the phone on the nightstand. "Okay, okay, you okay?" he asked his eyes frantic.

I looked at him like he was nuts. "Peeta, we knew this day was coming calm down," I told him calmingly. Honestly, you would think he was the one giving birth.

"Okay, call your mom on it," Peeta as he dialed the inn's number.

"Hold in there, baby," I whispered, patting my baby bump. I heard Peeta's panicked conversation with my mother, then he called Haymitch, you could tell that Haymitch was still half asleep by the way Peeta had to repeat his words. Finally, Peeta hung up and turned to me.

"Anything I can do?" Peeta asked.

Honestly, until I had another contraction it was just a waiting game. "Yes, show me the room," I told him honestly. There was nothing I wanted more, other than get this baby out of me, to see that room. The room Peeta had been working on for months and months. The nursery.

Peeta gave me a half smile, then came over to my side, scooped me up carrying me bridal style. I giggled and he took me down the hall, we stopped at the nursery door. "You ready?" Peeta asked, as he turned the knob. My heart began to beat, as he opened the door.

The room was breathtaking. Every inch of the wall painted with something, flowers, and blue skies, sunsets, and trees. It was like stepping into a beautiful forest. The crib was up against the wall above the crib was a beautiful Primrose, a purple one, Prim's favorite. Tears came to my eyes as I reached out towards the flower.

I also found a mural of a field of dandelions by the rocking chair. Our meadow of Lilac trees painted in the corner. A beautiful sunset, illuminating the room with orange, Peeta's favorite kind of orange. I was amazed.

I felt a sharp pain, and I sat down in the rocking chair, closing my eyes. About twenty minutes apart the contractions were now. From the little medical knowledge I knew, it would be awhile before a baby would be here. I took a deep breath as the pain subsided. "Peeta," I whispered as I opened my eyes and found his blue ones looking into mine.

"It's truly beautiful," I told him, kissing him lightly.

"No more than you are," Peeta said in his cheesy romantic like way.

I laughed. "I am about to give birth in a few hours, I look like a fat pig," I said.

"No, you don't," Peeta said. "I am glad you like it, sweetheart."

"I love it," I corrected him. He just smiled and took my hand in his. "We are having a baby today."

"We are having a baby today," he repeated, assuring me.

My mother arrived less than twenty minutes later, Haymitch wobbled in too, claiming he was here to see if we had alcohol but he knows very well we don't. My mother was trying to convince me to take pain medicatons. "Katniss, they will make this whole thing easier," she insisted.

I sat on the couch, the pain was getting worse, and Peeta's desperation began to rise. "Should we take her to a hospital out of town?" he asked my mother.

"No, we won't get there in time. There is the clinic," my mother said, but I interrupted her.

"No mother, I can do this here. I don't need fancy equipment, you did this at home. All the women of old District 12 did this at home, so can I? I will be fine," I told them forcefully.

"Were just worried," Peeta said unconvinced.

"Peeta, I have had worse pain in my life," I told him. I looked him in the eyes and he knew I was talking about emotional pain, physical pain was nothing compared to all the emotional pain I have been through. I was strong. I could do this.

Five hours later, Haymitch was passed out in a dining room chair, my contractions were getting worse and Peeta was still holding my hand looking white in the face. Another contraction, I closed my eyes, squeezed Peeta's hand. I'll be okay. I'll be oaky.

"Katniss, you will be ready to push soon, you ready?" my mother asked seriously.

I nodded, I wanted to be done. I wanted this baby out. The pain hit again, and the rest was a blur. There was Peeta stroking my hair, and looking really white. There was my mother encouraging me. Haymitch was standing behind me, holding my head refusing to look anywhere near my legs, keeping his eyes looking into mine. I remember him saying, "You can do this sweetheart."

Then came the part that was clear, the part where I held this baby that was mine in my arms. "It's a girl," my mother announced. I laughed, tears stung my eyes, and Peeta kissed the side of my forehead. Haymitch passed out.

"He will be okay," my mother said shrugging.

I looked at my daughter, she was beautiful. Her cries were even sort of beautiful. Wrapped in a blanket, I could see she had my dark hair; it was wavy though like Peeta's. Her features were so delicate; I ran my finger lightly across her forehead. She had Peeta's nose, and my lips. But her eyes almost made me stop breathing; they were big beautiful Peeta blue eyes. I never before in my life loved someone the way that I love her; I would do _anything_ for her. Looking at her, I knew, I knew that we could do this. That she was meant to be.

"She is perfect," Peeta said as he kissed her forehead.

"Lilah Primrue Mellark," I said, defiantly sure that this was her name.

That evening, after Haymitch and my mother said their goodbyes, it was just Peeta and I with Lilah. Peeta held her in his arms as we sat together in the nursery. I sat in a chair opposite to Peeta and Lilah. Peeta never stopped smiling, as he rocked her.

"I can't get over how perfect she is," he said happily.

"Me either. She is here, it feels surreal," I replied as I leaned back, I was exhausted the pain was still there but was beginning to subside.

"You want to hold her, while I go grab her bottle?" Peeta asked me and I nodded. Peeta placed Lilah in my arms, and looked at her. So innocent, so safe. She had a clean slate. No mistakes. She had not been hurt or burned by this cruel world. She was the definition of perfect. Amazing how a person like me with so much past and so much hurt could bring something so precious with no past and a completely bright future into this world.

I rubbed small circles on her tummy and watched her eyes fall, mine began to close and I slipped into much needed sleep with the comfort of my daughter in my arms.

**Okay, so Lilah has arrived. Let me know what you think so review, thank you so much guys!**

** -Megan **


	9. Better With You Here With Me

Here is the thing, Lilah was no sleeper and neither was I. Nightmares usually just haunted me all night long. I'd much rather be with my daughter, rocking her all night. She was just so precious. Lots of times Peeta would sit with me too. Together we would just marvel at her. Nights were never our thing, I got a few hours of sleep every night and so did Peeta but I would much rather be up with Lilah.

Tonight, I sat with her in the rocking chair while Peeta was still at the bakery. I rubbed small circles on her stomach, she opened her very blue eyes and I smiled at her. This time, she smiled back she had a beautiful smile. It reminded me of Prim's it was sweet and subtle, but seemed to light up the whole room.

I missed my sister, more that imaginable. There was still a hole in my heart, but Lilah seemed to make that hole smaller. She made me happy and made me feel like I had a reason to be here. Peeta and Lilah I'd come to realize gave me will to keep going. "You have Aunt Prims smile," I whispered to her.

Lilah was a quiet baby, alert, but reserved. Her eyes just looked into mine and I gave her a warm smile.

I was so in thought, I did not hear Peeta come in until he made his way into the nursery. "There's my girls!" he said happily. "Sorry got held up on a cake," he added as he came over and kissed me quickly. He smelt like sugar and pastries; he had a line of flour across his forehead. He leaned over and kissed Lilah's forehead. "How have you two been? Get any sleep?" Peeta asked me, even though his eyes looked tired he was worried about me.

"I'm fine. I'd rather be here with her, and you know it sometimes hard to sleep…without you there," I said, Peeta knew that without him there my nightmares were worse.

"Common," Peeta said, taking my hand.

I smiled, adjusted Lilah in my arms, and took his hand. Peeta led me to our bedroom, he offered to take Lilah, and she smiled when she saw his face. "She is in love with you," I commented.

"She loves us both," Peeta said as he lay down on the bed, Lilah sprawled on his chest. I lay down next to them; I reached over and stroked Lilah's hair. I watched her eyes fall, and mine began to fall too. The sleep deprivation kicking in.

Before I fell asleep, I heard Peeta say, "goodnight my beautifuls."

That night there were no nightmares, not one.

**I know, its short but I hope you liked. Sorry I have not been updating a lot, school is nuts. Anyways, review! **

** -Megan **


	10. Always Come Back To Me

"She smells!" yelled Haymitch from upstairs. I gave Peeta look and he nodded, as he took the stairs two at a time. Oh, Haymitch. I cannot leave him alone with Lilah for ten seconds.

I decide to go join Peeta and Haymitch after I hear laughing. As I go into the nursery I see Haymitch holding Lily out like she is poisonous. Peeta is cracking up, clutching his stomach. I look closer and I see that Haymitch has poop on his cheek—I crack up.

"That is the last time I change a diaper," Haymitch said as he walked out of the room, handing me a confused Lilah.

"Uncle Haymitch is silly isn't he?" I asked her as I began to change her diaper properly. Peeta wrapped his arms around my waist. I giggled as he began to plant kisses down my neck.

"You are both silly," I say as I finish changing the diaper and turn to face Peeta. He smells like frosting and paint, a mix only Peeta could have. He gives me a light kiss on the lips.

Peeta gives me a genuine smile as he kisses me once more, and then takes Lilah into his arms. She smiles at her father, and Peeta kisses her forehead. Seeing them together was just so natural, so normal. I hope I look like that with her; but I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach that it's not true.

Peeta turns to me and frowns. "You need to hunt," he says immediately.

"How do you know?" I asked him quickly.

"When you look worried you crease your brow, when you hunt it usually helps you. Sweetheart, I know these things about you," Peeta replies.

He is right. It's been a long time since I have been in the woods—just me and the wilderness. I miss it so much. "Your right," I admit to him.

"Go, Lilah and I will be just fine," Peeta assures me.

I smiled thankfully, so glad that Peeta understands me. Probably more than I understand myself. "Where would I be without you?" I ask him as I kiss his cheek and race to get my bow.

The woods are alive. I breathe in the fresh air, and take in the sights. I sit on a rock, simply thinking of memories. Sometimes it hurts to remember life before, but then sometimes—very rarely—it helps. This time I think of Prim, and the way she would wrinkle her nose, the same way Lilah does. I think of Peeta and how far we've come. I think of Cinna and his brilliance. I think of Gale and his artful skill. Then I think of the corrupt system that took it all away from me. They took everything except Peeta, the boy with the bread; he was always someone they could _never_ take from me. I got him back to me in the end. Always.

I got three kills, all of which were rabbits. I collected some Lilac flowers and some fresh fruit then headed back home, the sun was setting and I did not want Peeta to worry. I took a short cut through town, I passed Haymitch's house I saw him through the window watching TV intensely, luckily no alcohol in his hand. So, that was a good sign I suppose.

I opened the door, and it was quiet. "Peeta?" I called as I set down my kill and collecting's. I wandered through the house to find Peeta in the kitchen, glass shattered at his feet and his hand was shaking. I knew that look on his face, flashbacks. I immediately began to panic, where was Lilah?

I rushed over to Peeta, and made him look me straight in the eyes. "Peeta, you are right here. With me, Katniss your wife, now come back to me. Come back to me okay, I won't hurt you," I tell him, trying to calm him down.

His blue eyes return to normal, and he looks at me. "Is Lilah okay?" I ask immediately.

"I put her to bed before…before I had an episode," Peeta said as he began to pick up the glass.

I nodded, trying to calm myself as I sat down at the table. His episodes were rare but they still happened, once or twice a month Peeta would leave me for a few minutes, and nothing scared me more. No one else can leave me, or I might just fall apart again. And if I fall apart again, there will be no one to glue me all back together.

Peeta cups my face in his hands and kisses my forehead. "You know I will always come back to you," he promises.

**Okay, so sorry it took so long. Please, review!**

**-Megan **


	11. I Said Yes

I was twenty four years old when Peeta proposed to me. It was just us, for years. We just had each other and I knew there was nothing I wanted more than to be with Peeta. Because without him I would drown. Without him I would fall from flight. Without him I wouldn't be here. We saved each other.

So when he asked me to marry him, I did something that went against what I believed all those years, I whispered that one syllable. Yes. Yes. Yes. Peeta never left me, he caught me.

It was a spring day; the Lilac trees we love were in full bloom. I just got back from hunting and was in a rather good mood. When I got back to the house Peeta met me at the front step. I gave him a sideway glance and smiled. Smiling was so new to me back then, after years of shutting everything good out. But I smiled, and I smiled for Peeta. Why? Because I loved the man. And for that same reason, I said yes when he took me to the field, just beyond the town.

I remember asking him when he was going to check on Haymitch and if he remembered to gather a few things for dinner as we walked. He held my hand, and answered all my questions. Peeta seemed so calm; in retrospect I wonder why he was not so nervous. Maybe he knew—just knew I would say yes.

We spent ten minutes just lying in the tall grass, our hands intertwined. I felt young again in that instant. It was just Peeta and I, looking up to a blue sky. I felt the possibility of hope, something it seems only innocent children can carry. That's when he turned to me and said:

"I love you," he said simply.

I sat up and looked at him, it was not the first time he'd said it. I'd said it to him, finally—just weeks beforehand. Still the way he said it, it sounded—eternal. Like the forever kind of love. "I love you too," I told him, like I had before.

"No, Katniss. I love you, I love us, I love what we have become," he said. "I don't want to ever lose that."

No one had ever told me they wanted to be in my life, permanently. Except for Peeta. Sure people walked out of my life, but no one ever before genuinely told me that. My heart skipped a beat, Peeta is the real thing. It's not for the cameras. It's not for anyone's sake. It's because we love each other. It took me too long to finally realize. "I don't want to lose this either," I told him calmly.

Peeta took a strand of stray hair and put it behind my ear. "I want to marry you, I want a life with you. I want an eternity with you," he said.

That's when I cried. This scared Peeta, who thought I was having one of my mental break downs, which happened all too often.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean—," he said, trying to calm me.

I stopped him with a kiss. It was quick. I wanted to get the words out. "Yes. I want to marry you too," I told him. That's when he smiled, and it felt like a world of possibilities opened up. I knew I made the right choice.

Now, I watch as my daughter begins to sit up and play with a strand of my hair. I still know I made the right decision. I look at her, and know I never went wrong when it came to Peeta. Really, there was no other option, Peeta was always mine. Ever since the day he saved me with a loaf of bread.

He came through the door and my daughter squeals, clapping her hands. She is so happy. "Lilah, daddy's home, can you say daddy?" asked Peeta as he came towards her and picked her up.

"We missed you," I told him and gave him a kiss.

"I missed you two more," he said with a grin.

**A little blast from the past. Hope you liked, sorry it's been so long. Please let me know what you think! Happy Holidays everyone. **


	12. Here Without You

Funny thing about Lilah, she is a wild one. Peeta says she is like me, he says she is a fighter. I simply say that she has nothing more to fight for. I am thankful for that every day. Every day I wake up and she is here, she won't have to worry about making it through the next year, or being reaped into a game of death. She is safe, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Today is a special day for two reasons, first one being, Lilah might take her first steps. Second one, I'm trying not to think about because I would fall apart again, and I've been doing so well.

Lilah wobbled her way to Peeta as I sat on the couch next to Haymitch. "I told you she is a fighter, she is eight and a half months and walking already. She is you Katniss, determination and all," Peeta says as he catches Lilah's fall, kissing her forehead. "I got you baby girl," he whispers.

"I don't know, she is you too. The way you laugh, the way you can be so happy, she is you too," I assure him.

"Sweetheart, you need to see this already: this kid is a miniature version of you. She will stop at nothing to freaking take a step. She is completely stubborn, and to top it all off she does not sleep too much either," Haymitch piped in.

I laugh and shake my head. "I sleep because of the nightmares, I don't know why she does not sleep," I justify. Truthfully, I don't want her to be like me, I want her to be warm and giving like Peeta.

"Sweetheart let it go, she is you," Haymitch replies.

"I'd rather her be like Peeta," I admit. "I love her, with my everything, but another one of me?" I add.

"Oh, hell, who would want another Katniss Everdeen?" Haymitch jokes.

Peeta looks at me concerned. "I would," he says firmly.

"Yeah, the one person that can tolerate you," Haymitch adds.

I slap him with the book sitting next to me. "Hey!" I say to him.

"Look if you really want a little me, we could have another child," Peeta says as he gulps.

I shoot him a stare and shake my head. "Let's not think about that right now, let's focus on the one we have," I tell him.

Peeta shrugs and smiles. "It's not a bad idea, I mean who could not want another one of these?" he asks as he holds up Lilah and puts her face to his. She is smiling and giggling as she looks to me, her blue eyes curious. He's right, who wouldn't?

"Good lord," Haymitch lets out.

I sigh and roll my eyes. "Later Peeta, maybe later, like far away later," I say.

Peeta nods and puts Lilah on the ground; she stands up and takes a step, a solid step. I gasp as she takes another one; she walks right into Peeta's arms. Peeta's arms encircle her and Peeta is beaming. "She walked!" I gasp.

I get up and start crying; Peeta looks startled as I say again, "She walked."

"Yes, sweetheart, your daughter is now a walking tot," Haymitch said, taking a sip of him brandy.

Lilah's walking brought back a memory, one that I had not thought of for years. Maybe even before the games. I was there when Prim first started to walk, she came towards me. I was so happy and her smile, Prim's face, it was just like Lilah's in this moment. How something as fragile as Prim or Lilah can begin to stand on their own two feet.

I hold my head in my hands. Peeta stands and rubs my back, making small circles between my shoulder blades that always calms me. "I just remembered Prim walking for the first time," I whisper to Peeta.

"I miss her so much," I say, my voice shaking.

"It's okay Katniss; it is okay to not be okay for one day. Hell, look at me I fall apart every week," Haymitch said, looking ahead blankly.

I pick up Lilah and I kiss her forehead. She sees my tears and puts her hand to my face, comforting me. Peeta kisses me tenderly. Maybe, just maybe, once in a while it's okay to fall apart—as long as you have someone who loves you enough to piece you back together.

I have that.

I have a lot of things to be grateful for.

Peeta.

Lilah.

Haymitch.

They keep me breathing, they save me every day—but what about those people you would give anything just to hear their voice again?

What about them?

Some days, it hits me all again, like a cool wave that seems to be much too unexpected and it drags you under again. What about the people that are gone, that I don't have?

Prim.

Rue.

My father.

Cinna.

Finnick.

What's left? A tiny miracle of a child beginning to stand on her own.

Today is Prims birthday; she would have been twenty five years old. That night I hold Lilah close as Peeta and I look at the stars. Something we just started doing years ago, it comforts me. Lilah lies on my stomach and we watched. Peeta made a beautiful cake, which no one ate; it was for Prim to see. I hoped that wherever she was she could admire it, like she always did when we passed the bakers window all those years ago.

A shooting star zoomed across the sky that night. That was Prim; I had to believe it was her. "We love you Prim," I say. Peeta takes my hand and wipes my tears.

"Happy Birthday," Peeta add kindly.

**I know it's been forever, and ever. But I updated! What did you guys think about the movie? I loved it. **

**Anyways please review, thank you! **

** -Megan **


	13. Infinite

"Let's play a game," Peeta suggests as we lie in bed, his arms around me, and my head on his chest. Sometimes, I just listen to his breathing, in and out, in and out; it calms me. Like no matter what my nightmares might threaten, he will pull me back to life.

So when he asks this question, I am zoned out. "Uh, yeah sure," I say. "What game?"

"Real or not real…we have not played in a while," Peeta says.

I look into his eyes and smile. "Sure, you first," I tell him.

"You've loved me all along, through all the games and the hijacking, through everything, real or not real?" Peeta asks.

"That was a pretty complex question," I answer quietly.

"Just answer truthfully," Peeta replies.

"Real. At first it was more like I has no choice, you were you—completely perfect someone who deserved to be loved. Then, I started to feel this fire inside me, when you kissed me sometimes, I could imagine more. When you were hijacked, I knew it. I knew I loved you. Then you were back, but you were not yourself. I loved you, but at the same time I missed you. Now, it's clear. I love you. So, yes, real," I whisper to him.

Peeta kisses the top of my head. "I've loved you all along. Even when I loose myself, you are the force that pulls be back down. My memory is almost there, of course I still have more questions," Peeta admits.

"Go ahead, ask me," I encourage him.

"When we came back her after the war, when did you realize you wanted to be with me? Why damaged me?" he asked.

His words stung. Were both damaged, but somehow, we continue to heal each other. "We worked on the book, and slowly I saw you coming back to life. I saw myself coming back to life. I realized I needed you to keep me whole, and I saw that you needed me. As for when I realized it, probably when you finished your illustration of Prim for our book," I whisper to him tenderly. I want Peeta to always know that he was not a second choice. I _needed_ him. The way a dandelion needs the sun to grow.

Our book, sits on my nightstand, it holds everyone lost— everyone important to us. I sit up and open it to Prim's page. "You drew her in a way that I saw her, and I saw how you understand me," I tell him.

Peeta tightens his hold on me, and kisses me lightly. "Do you want to ask me anything?" Peeta questions.

"You were serious about another baby the other day, real or not real?" I ask him, even though I am pretty sure I already knew the answer.

"Real," he admits. "We don't have to talk about it right now, Katniss," Peeta says warmly as he kisses my neck tenderly.

"Maybe, in time—lots of time—I'll be ready. For now Lilah is enough," I whisper as he pushes back my hair.

"Speaking of Lilah, she is asleep," Peeta says smiling.

"This is true," I reply, my lips folding into a smile.

"So we have to be really quiet," Peeta then says as he plants a kiss on my forehead and nose.

I put my finger to my lips and kiss him. Right now, I don't care about the past or the present or the future. All I care about is now, this moment with Peeta. A man who was no second choice, there was no other way around it because I believe that no matter what we would have found each other. Peeta was a lot of things to me but maybe all along he is what I needed. He is not just a best friend or a lover he is my so called "soul mate." I would not have believed in soul mates before, but maybe I was just blinded. Spring is here now, the dandelions are out and in this moment I'm infinite. _We_ are infinite.


End file.
